my moral life

Two years hence......
When I'm ready...
After one more set of poemsabout my beautiful confusion.
After I've read Anna Kareninaand Don Quixoteand the first volume
at least of Proustand one big novel by Thomas Mann—say three years......
Three years hence:
after I've written an essay about the word "enough"
and after I've done something so delectableweaving
together phrases from Henry James and Bob Dylanand a
fter I've written an amazing meditation on Luis Buñueland
after I've spent a month in Frankfort, Michiganbeing very real
and thoughtful and full of perspectiveand fresh cherry piethen—then—
in four years at the most—I see it there ahead of me casting a silver shadowback upon me now,
bathing me in its promise,validating the self that will arrive at itin four years or less (maybe just two years?)...
Glimpsing it there is sometimes like already living italmost and feeling justifiably proud.
Water pollution and toxic waste and air pollution;
the poverty of black people in my city;the nuclear arms industry;
in my moral life these thingsare not just TV,
they push my poems to the edge of my desk,they push Henry James into a sweet corner,
they pull me to meetings and rallies and marchesand meetings and rallies and marches.....
There I am in a raincoat on the steps of City Halldisappointed by the turnout but speaking firmlyinto the local news microphone about the issue,the grim issue.....
When I'm ready....
Four years from today!
Silver shadow